Leaving
by ixlovextragedies
Summary: Gemma is leaving for America, but one last visit to Felicity's shows Gemma's real feelings on the death of Kartik and how she copes with losing her one true love. Will Gemma find happiness? A Kartik return? What about the kids? I own none of the character
1. Chapter 1

I own none of these characters, I only take them out to play once in a while. I wrote this on a post-Kartik crying spree. It kinda reflects the way I felt when Kartik died. One shot for now, maybe continue with reviews.

"You cannot just leave, Gemma, please. I need you here. Come to Paris with me," Felicity begs. I have never seen her beg before, and part of me wants to gloat, but that part of my heart is covered in memories of him. I cannot bring myself to think his name. "Think of Ann, she has only just begun her life on her own. She needs my advice, and I need your help, Gemma."

"I have to go, Fee. You do not need me; you shall be fine all on your own. But me, I have to leave. I cannot stay here," I murmur, trying to stay calm and keep the tears at bay.

"Why, Gemma? Running away will never change the way you feel, you cannot out run your secrets." Fee whispers afraid that a sudden loud sound will send me running. "It is because of what happened to him, isn't it, to Kar…"

"Don't, Fee," I interrupt. "Please, don't say his name, please…" I trail off.

"Tell me, Gem. As your friend, you owe me that, tell me why. Please." She looks desperate not to lose her only true confidante, the one other who knew all her secrets. For all her talk of being independent, Felicity never thought she would be left alone. Like Pippa, another love I lost to the realms.

"I cannot stay here, Fee. I see him everywhere. When I close my eyes," my voice breaks as my tears are let free, but somehow I continue, "When I close my eyes he is there. And when I dream, I dream of him. It breaks my heart, and what is left of my damaged heart is covered in scars in the places where he touched. I cannot live like this; I cannot even bring myself to die because I think of how he died protecting me. Even in death I cannot bring myself to hurt him." I let the tears fall freely, the only visible sign of my grief. I see a flash of pity cross over Felicity's lovely face, and I realize how much she truly cares for me. That she loved the magic, but she loved because it was a part of me, like the freckles sprinkled across my nose. I feel guilty that I could have ever doubted her loyalty to me.

"Oh, Gemma. I had no idea, I am so sorry." I can only nod. My pain breaks through fissures in my stone heart, and I find I cannot speak. "I went into the realms yesterday. I saw him, I saw the tree. It was the most beautiful place I have ever seen, Gemma. Ten times as more lovely as the Garden could have ever been. It was a place of true love. I never could understand how you cared for him, but I now see how you felt. I could feel it in the air, as tangible as the wind. It's the same way I felt about Pippa… it is the most beautiful love I think I shall ever see," Felicity says revealing her own pain, her own losses. I reach for her hand, surprised to find myself wanting to comfort her. I felt as though I would feel nothing but sadness again. The thought that I am not alone, that there is someone who aches in the same way I do is oddly soothing. "Have you seen the tree?" Fee asks, and I nod in response. "He whispers your name like a chorus a lover's sighs yet as soft as a breath."

"I know," I sigh, "it feels like him. His voice, his caresses, but it is not the same. He is not the same. I wanted to believe that he would stay the same inside, when I felt his heartbeat I hoped…But he changed; now he is more beautiful and more complete than ever and yet I find myself wanting to hate him for it. For giving himself up when I need him, for finding his true destiny while leaving me all alone. But I shall never hate him, I…" I want to explain more. To tell my friend how my pain eats at me. How the guilt comes with the pain and the love until I feel as though I shall be ripped apart by it. But I cannot find the words, so I leave them unspoken.

"Then you should go, Gemma. Find whatever peace you can. I only ask that you write often. You are not the only one alone, Gem." I embrace my dearest friend for the final time and turn to leave. It was supposed to be our goodbye, but as I board the ship that will take me to New York, I see her, waving with tears running down her porcelain cheeks and her newly sown pantaloons displayed proudly. And somehow I know she will be alright, she was born to lead and I look forward to the impact she has on this world.

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The first sight I see of America is of a woman. She is larger than life and holding a rather ugly torch, but there she is standing proud. When I see her for what she stands for, for freedom and choice, I feel almost alive with hope. I look to the rising sun behind me and I know he is there, for his love is like the wind, you cannot see it but you can feel it. I close my eyes I can almost hear him whisper, "Gemma…I love you…You are beautiful…I will never leave you…Gemma," I find my heart start to heal and I know that this is what he truly wanted. For me to live everyday and know I am loved. I smooth my hand over my slightly bulging stomach and the part of him that grows there and know that I shall never forget him for I have a keepsake that shall always hold the evidence of our love. I know I shall find a way to bring him back, I will find my answer all because he gave me the hope I needed. I thank him by finally whispering his name, "Kartik."

I took the time Gemma and Kartik "did it" in the realms literally. When Gemma says she was "changed" I thought she meant she lost her virginity.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N The first part was inspired by One Tree Hill. My idea of how Kartik and Gemma can have their happy ending. I own none of these characters, except the kiddies! Please Review….**

Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. We made our debut, saying goodbye. That feeling that you get at seventeen or eighteen that nobody in the history of the world has ever been this close, has ever loved as fiercely or laughed as hard or cared as much. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday and sometimes it feels like someone else's memory.

Four years have passed since I departed England for a new life in America. I always imagined America as another India, somewhere exotic, a place where I wasn't molded into the constricting shape of modesty and tradition. But as I soon found, that America with its high society teas and scandals, is very similar to the England I had left behind. But there is a glorious side to America that England never seemed to grasp. America is full of hope and acceptance; it is a place where dreams are just around the next corner.

America is much more accepting. Where freckles sprinkled across my children's noses are kisses from God, and the color of their skin is just as ordinary as the clothes they wear. It saddens me to know that if _he_ had lived, _we_ would have survived. America would have seen how beautiful our love was, just as my friends had. My heart still breaks at the thought of him, but when I look at our beautiful children, how could I forget how much happiness I had felt in his arms. The black curls of my daughter mingling with her emerald eyes remind me how perfectly we had fit together. Or how the midnight hair and chocolate eyes of her twin brother tell me that his father's spirit is still alive.

I love watching my children play in the yard, as they are now. So carefree and innocent, the two of them fill the empty spaces in my heart. My daughter, Kali, and her twin brother, Kiran are trying to master the game of cricket, yet failing miserably.

"Mommy," Kali whimpers after her brother hits the ball into the back of the yard and out of her reach, "When are we going to visit, Auntie Felicity and Auntie Ann." I sigh as a repeat the date nearly one week away, Kali has been like a starry-eyed school girl with her daydreams of a romanticized England complete with debutantes and their princes. Kiran on the other hand, has a much more serious purpose. He too is excited, but to finally walk in the places where his own father's footsteps had passed. My only regret of my past decisions is that it has left my only boy with only whispers of his sole idol. Kiran looks more Kartik like everyday, so much so that I often gasp as I look into eyes identical to the ones I had gazed into so many years ago.

"Mommy, why can't we go now?" Kiran demanded as I sent him a reproachful glare at his bad manners.

"Because, Kiran, Aunt Felicity is in Paris at the moment and will not return until the English season. And since your aunt is not at her house to greet us as her guests, we will have to wait until she is." I sigh deeply as I watch my son come up with his next rebuttal to my statements, another trait his has seemed to inherit from his father.

"Well, can't we just go early and wait for Aunt Felicity to come back at her house. Auntie said we could come whenever we wanted," Kali begged, taking up her brother's cause.

"That is because your aunt has no regard for moral restraint," I mumbled under my breath. Out loud I said, "Because is impolite to visit when your host is not present, no matter how much your impolite host says otherwise."

"But, Mommy…." Kiran whined, running out of reasons to argue against me. I sighed at his frustration. I felt awful for denying Kiran the chance to see the only physical remaining evidences of his father. I had told him and his sister stories of a boat house, and a stable with a book, and a school with a magic door. Kali loves the romance of her father and I, to her it is a perfect forbidden love, the English rose with an Indian prince. I do not have the heart to tell her how her fantasies often bring only heartache in real life. Kiran loves the bravery and adventure of the tales the stories of his father fighting bravely in a magical wasteland battling the forces of darkness for his one true love. The two of them remind of me so much, that I wonder if they carry not only Kartik's genes but also a part of his soul. If they each have a piece, and I have a piece, then maybe together we could find the other… Maybe…

One week later we disembark from the train that has taken us from the ship to Victoria Station where Felicity is to meet us. When I see my old friend for the first time in four years, I feel tears well. Felicity spots us with a gasp and soon she is closing the distance between us at an immodest speed, but then I abandon all decorum and dash to meet her the rest of the way. Hugging Felicity is just like I remembered all the friendship and memories rushing back. As I introduce my children and look into Felicity's eyes as they take in the resemblance of Kartik, it feels like everything is back five years and we are at Spence in a tent made of scarves and whispering tales of spirits and witches. I smile at the memory of how much I had missed my friends, but I am home now and I am so close to Kartik. I can feel him there, just through the door of light and down the river. I know it just as I know everything will soon be alright.

**Will Gemma find Kartik? How will he return? And what about Felicity's new girlfriend or Ann's new beau? Review**


	3. Chapter 3

**What is going to happen next, well of course I know…..**

"I can not believe how much they look like him, Gemma. It is almost eerie in the resemblance in Kiran," Felicity whispers as we tiptoe from the room where we had just placed my sleeping children. I smile as Fee shakes her head to clear the ghosts of memories that I am sure are running through her mind.

"I know, but Felicity, they don't just look like him. They act just like he did. It is as if Kartik's soul was split and divided amongst the three of us. Kali, she has Kartik's romantic side, his love for destiny and dreams. Kiran has his sense of adventure and his stubbornness," I say in a rush, trying to convince myself that it is possible for children to possess pieces of their dead parent.

"Oh, now. Kiran got his stubbornness from his father, hmmm. He may not have inherited your flame of a hair color, but his stubbornness, that he has obtained from you my dear," Felicity says with a smile mocking her lips toward me. I am about to argue when another voice interrupts me.

"_Oh mon Dieu_, Felicity, how can you mock that hair? It is simply stunning, darling. Is that natural?" A petit brunette with a light French accent steps in to the parlor. I am about to respond when she continues on as if I had all ready answered, "I know women in Paris who would simply _kill_ to have that hair. Look at those curls, oh, and that shade of red. Très incroyable!"

"Umm, thank you, but pardon me, I am afraid I do not know your name. Have we met before?" I become even more confused by the wicked smile Felicity flashes the new girl. Cleary they have met before.

"Gemma, this is Charlotte. Charlotte is ma petite amie. _My lover_." Even though I know Felicity's inclination toward other women, I still gasp at the sight of Fee's real life love interest.

"Forgive me about the hair, chèrie. I work as a hairdresser at the salons in Paris, and, _mon dieu_, I have never seen a shade so vibrant before. It is simply breathtaking my darling," Charlotte prattles on until Felicity gives her a little cough. I am surprised by the slight blush that colors Charlotte's cheeks. I can remember the feeling, it does not matter how long you are with Felicity, she can still make you feel uncomfortable with just a slight sign of admonishment. "But enough about your hair, I have heard many other things about you besides your fantastic hair," Charlotte says as she takes a seat on the sofa behind her and gestures for me to take one as well. "Oh, do not worry; all of them are très bien! Fee has only nice things to say about her amies."

I nod and take a seat on the settee across from Felicity and Charlotte as I try to mask the confusion clearly displayed on my face. Charlotte chatters on about how thrilling are past must have been, how terrifying those monsters must have been. I raise an eyebrow at Felicity, how much has she told Charlotte, and if she has divulge as much as I think she has, then how serious is Felicity and Charlotte's relationship. Felicity merely smiles back and mouths later.

"Charlotte, darling. It is getting awfully late," Felicity says interrupting Charlotte's rather graphic description of a Parisian customer who took quite too many liberties with her. "And we do have a long day tomorrow, why don't you head off to bed, and I shall show Gemma where she will be sleeping.

"Oh, of course, how foolish of me. _Bonne nuit_, Gemma. I shall see you and your darling children in the morning. "Charlotte says already heading to the staircase. Once she is gone I look over to Felicity.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, Felicity. How serious is this relationship, and pray, what have you told her about me?" I demand in a very unladylike fashion.

"Well Gemma, I am so glad to see all those manners you learned at Spence put to such practical use," Felicity teases before continuing, "Charlotte and I have been together for a bit over two years, and our relationship is quite serious, thank you. She knows about our adventures and past indiscretions. As to your secrets, I have divulged none, except the fact that you fell in love with Kartik who is now imprisoned in the realms." I sigh at Felicity's assurances that my secrets still remain secrets.

"And Ann," I question, "is she doing well." I had hoped that when last saw Ann she would have found her courage at last and made her way to the stage, but I have yet to speak to her outside of her rather brief letters.

"Yes, very well indeed, it seems that the Parisian stage loves her. And she has found a beau, perhaps you remember him, Charlie Smalls. They are to be married next spring. But what is it Gemma, you look as if you have something."

"Perhaps, perhaps it is foolish. I only thought that if maybe the three of us could come together. Never mind, is it nonsense." Perhaps is such a powerful word, perhaps we could become the closest of friends again. Perhaps I could tell my friends all my secrets. Perhaps I could speak to Kartik again.

"Gemma, tell me. It is about Kartik? It is, isn't it?" I nod my head as she waits patiently for me to speak.

"I have a plan."

**Oh Cliffhanger. What will happen next? The return of Ann? A trip to the realms. And when in the world will Kartik come back? The more reviews the faster I write. evil laugh**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh my, my what ever will happen next…..**

"I have a plan," I say to Felicity who is on the edge of her seat. I pause there, partly because I do not want my foolish dreams to be laughed at by Felicity, and party because I love the look on Felicity's face as she tries to wait patiently.

"Well, what the bloody hell is it," Felicity demands, no longer able to keep her frustration in. I try unsuccessfully to keep a smile off my face at Felicity's lack of manners.

"Well, I could not very well tell you before Ann. That would hardly be fair now." I can not keep my laugh held any longer, and start into a hysterical giggle. Felicity looks as though someone has told her that the sky is purple and not blue.

"You can not be serious, Gemma. That would be positively demonic to lead me on like that and then keep it to yourself. I refuse to let you leave this house until you tell me what your plan is!"

"Well then call me the devil herself, because I think it would be very rude to tell you before I have even spoken to Ann. She is apart of my plan too, you know."

"Then what am I supposed to do now?" Felicity whines in a childlike fashion.

"Were going to see Ann," I say as I head up the stairs to my bedroom as Felicity follows behind with her attempts to get me to tell her what I have planned. I shake her off and close the door to my room in a rude slam, and settle in the down bed that feels as if I am floating on a cloud.

That night I dream again, and I dream of him. Back in America my dreams were always whispers of our past memories, just enough to keep me alive and just enough to keep me longing for him again. Now here in England, the dreams are much stronger, and this scene has never happened before. I am in the Winterlands and before me stands the tree, stands the last remnants of Kartik. My dream self goes to the tree and I press my hand against the warm bark to feel the heart still beating there.

Then all of a sudden there is a blinding white light, so bright that I fear I shall never see again, but when it dims I see him standing there, in his human form. He is just as beautiful as I remember. Those chocolate eyes with lashes that go on forever, and his deep brown skin as strong and soft as the Earth. I take a step toward him, reaching out to feel his skin one more time, but as I look closer I see something change in him. His chocolate eyes turn to coal, and he smiles with teeth full of menacing fangs. He is not the same yet there is something familiar about his look, I have seen it before. Seen it in Pippa. Tears run down my face as I realize the tear has corrupted into something evil and power hungry. I was naïve to think that he could have remained this long in a place so evil, and remain unchanged. Still though, he is my Kartik. The love of my life, surely that could have not changed. As I speak his name, Kartik looks up at me and snarls.

"So at last you come, Gemma. Hmmm, you have so much power, power that I want," Kartik grows as he lunges at me. I turn to run but I am no match for him. Soon he grabs me and bears his teeth to kill me, and then suddenly I am awake. I am in my bed, but breathing heavily as if I have really just run for my life.

Was that really real? Could Kartik have become a monster who wants to see me dead? I knew there was only one way to find out. I needed to see Ann and tell them a few more of my secrets.

I finally fall back asleep, and mercifully I do not dream again. When I awake there is sunlight streaming heavily through my window, and I quickly rise and dress then go to the adjoining room where my children sleep. After I wake and dress, I go downstairs where I find Felicity and Charlotte dressed, even in their hats, ready to go. 

"So, are you ready?" Felicity questions as soon as I reach the bottom step.

"Oh, Felicity how rude. I haven't even had my breakfast yet. Really, what would the neighbors think," I admonish playfully. Felicity is about to argue, when Charlotte breaks in, all too happy to provide what ever we would want. After a quick meal of croissants and angry glares for Felicity, I gather the children's coats.

"Auntie Felicity, where is your husband," Kiran asks bluntly. I gasp and glance at Felicity. How was she to explain that Charlotte is her husband in a sense anyway?

"He died," Felicity lies coolly, "so I have Charlotte live with me so I never get lonely." Felicity smiles at Kiran who nudges Kali. I see they have been scheming last night in their room, and I wonder who dared who to ask.

"Well, now, Kiran, Kali. That is no way to speak to your host; you will make me look as though I have raised you with wolves." Kiran and Kali giggle and my chastisements are lost on them both. Oh pray tell, why did God grace me with the hell that is twins. "Oh, we better get going if you two want to see Aunt Ann. She goes on at two."

Felicity sighs, and quietly mutters something like "Finally" under hear breath. I smile and walk Kiran and Kali out the door. What a group we must make, a redhead holding hands with two children with chocolate skin trailed by two women who are holding each other like the lovers they are.

**Ann's up next, but more importantly what bout that dream of Gemma's. Will it come true? Review to find out. **


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it took so long to update, but here it is at last

**Sorry it took so long to update, but here it is at last. The next chapter…**

"Ann!" Felicity shrieks the minute when enter a posh upper-class brownstone, running off into an unknown room to look for her. I look left and right as I take in my surrounds. My, my, Ann surely has come a long way from being a runaway governess. At that moment, Ann enters, as if my thoughts had called her from across the house. The minute I see my old friend I run to embrace her for the first time in four long years.

"Oh Ann, I have missed you so much. You must tell me what you have been doing these last years," I smile at Anne with tears of happiness running down my face. When I look up, I see matching tears running down Anne's as well.

"Gemma, Gemma. I am not the one who had many stories to tell. How was America! And the children, have you brought them?" I take a step to the side to reveal Kali and Kiran who are hiding behind my skirt.

"Kali, Kiran, this is your Auntie Ann. Children say hello," I am completely baffled at their quietness until I spy a man standing in the corner of the room.

"And who might this be?" I inquire tilting my head toward the corner where the mystery man stands chatting with Felicity and Charlotte.

"That's Charlie, my husband. You two have met before, but it was quite a long time ago," Ann says with a blush on her face. Oh, of course. Our dreadful trip to the city for Ann's audition. I still try to forget that day, almost as much I as try to forget those awful fake names we had come up with.

I step forward to greet Charlie, when I realize that the twins are still clinging to my skirt. Ann shoots me a questioning glance at me and then the twins. Even Felicity is eyeing my children strangely.

"I am sorry if my children are acting rather strange," I whisper in Ann's ear, "but they don't have much interaction with grown men." I bend down to the twin's eye level and reassure them that everything is alright and that the man is a friend of Ann's. After a minute or two, Kiran lets go of my skirt and walks over to where Charlie is standing.

"Hello," Kiran says in a faux deep voice as he reaches up to shake Charlie's hand. I cover my mouth to stifle a giggle as I see Kiran try to act the part of a grown man. Charlie looks over at me for a moment, with amusement written all over his face, before he shakes Kiran's little hand and starts to make conversation.

"Well how about you and your sister come with me and Charlotte to see our backyard," Charlie says loudly, "We have a swing set." Kiran and Kali's faces lit up at this notion and the two dashed from the room with Charlie and Charlotte hurrying to keep up.

"That was very nice of Charlie," I say to Ann as Felicity, she and I sit down to talk.

"Well he knows that we have a lot to catch up on," Ann says beaming, "and he is rather good with children." I smile at Ann and her new happy life. I had been afraid if she would ever give up her hopeless one-sided romance with my brother. I wasn't surprised to find myself happy in Ann's happiness. But I was surprised to feel the familiar pull of envy tugging at my heart. After all, both Ann and Felicity had their loves, and I was the odd woman out. But hopefully, not for much longer.

"Well, if you don't mind. I was hoping we could skip that for now and go straight for the plan I have." I said looking at both their faces. Ann looked eager, but a bit annoyed. Felicity looked as if she would faint if she wasn't informed in the next minute. And because of that I counted to fifty before drawing in a breath.

"Well, what the devil do you have in mind," Felicity screeched. I smiled and took another breath, just for her benefit, before continuing. And I told them everything that I had kept secret. From my first meeting with Kartik, to our secret affair, to our intimate moments in the Cave of Sighs. I told them of my dream the previous night, and the nightmare it had ended in.

"I need to get him back. And I will need your help to do it." I took another deep breath to calm myself before finishing. "I believe the dream has a clue to it, and I want to try to get Kartik back. I can't condemn him to a life in the awful tree. He died trying to save me, and I am willing to die trying to get him back." I sighed as I looked up at my closest friends. Their expressions were carefully guarded, and I had no idea what they thought of my plan.

"Well, I'm in, Gemma. I know I haven't made my displeasure of Kartik a secret in the past, but he means a lot to you. And you mean a lot to me. I remember how much Pippa meant to me and if you felt one tenth of the love I felt for her, then I will do everything in my power to bring him back to you." I smiled at Felicity's fierce loyalty to me, and then frowned at Felicity's mention of Pippa. Could she still be hurting after all this time? Even with her new love. I looked into Felicity's deep eyes and knew my answer. Yes, yes she could.

"What about you Ann? I know you have your new life here, and I won't ask you to risk your life for this. Especially when you have Charlie."

"Like I would sit on the sidelines while you two have all the fun." Ann smiled at me and it brought back memories of us when we were innocent roommates and we shared every pain we had. "Besides who could pass up a trip to the realms."

**Please review, I hope you guys liked it and that more will be on its way…**


	6. Chapter 6

Here's the next chapter…

**Here's the next chapter, Sorry its short but I wanted to post this much before I forget….**

"Alright, I talked with Charlie and Charlotte and they agreed to keep the children busy while we went to the realms." Ann said as she reappeared through her back door. I took a deep breath in to calm myself, although it came in shudders. I was nervous to see if I could still make the door appear. If I still had the power.

"Are you sure you're alright, Gemma. You look a bit anxious; you don't have to do this now if you're not ready. We'd be willing to wait for you," Felicity said uncertainly. I could see it plainly on her face that she regretted her words the moment she had spoken. I knew that both of them were excited to get back to the realms, and had been missing paradise as much as I had.

"No, I want to do this now. I want to see if my plan will work." I looked down at my hands, which were wringing together in anxiety.

"Listen, Gemma, I hate to say this. And I know it will make me seem like a power hungry witch, but I need to say it. I really want to help you get Kartik back, but…but I want to see the realms again. I haven't been there in so long." Ann nodded her agreement with Felicity's words. I felt that old tug of being unwanted. Like I had felt when I thought that all Ann and Felicity wanted from me was a way into the realms. I knew I was being silly, and I wanted to see the garden just as badly as they did.

"Alright. I suppose a little visit to the garden won't hurt anything." I knew I had made the right decision by the matching smiles my two friends now wore. It felt good to make them happy.

"Well then, let's go," Felicity said as she pulled me and Ann into a circle on the ground. I held their hands and wished for the door of light. At first I saw only darkness, and was about to worry when I saw it. The door. It was more brilliant and beautiful than I remembered.

I closed my eyes and stepped through into our own paradise. The garden was so beautiful that it hurt my eyes to see it.

"Wow, this place hasn't changed a bit!" I heard Felicity gasp from a few feet behind me. She was right; the garden was still as beautiful as I had remembered. I gazed longingly at the river and the Gorgon I hoped was still hidden there. But I knew I had to allow them a few minutes in paradise as agreed in Ann's study.

I laughed with my friends as we turned butterflies into rubies and remembered all the past things we had done together. There was a silent moment as we looked around and felt the missing person. Pippa had been so much to Felicity, and even through her selfishness and cruelty she had shown me, I missed her. She had fallen hard from the top, and it had only taken me a little while later to realize what it was like to lose the one thing you cared most about.

I could feel Felicity and Ann's gaze on me as I looked at the river for the hundredth time in the two hours that we had been there. They knew what I wanted, although neither of us could bare to bring the subject up. No one knew what to say.

"Are you ready, Gemma?" Felicity said linking her arm through mine.

"Not even close, but I'm as ready as I will ever be." I said with a forced smile. It was such an odd feeling being back in the realms. I hadn't been this close to Kartik since the day before I left for America. I was anxious to see if my plan would work. And dreading it if nothing happened. I knew I had to at least see his tree again, even if that was all I saw of him, it would be enough.

When we reached the river, the Gorgon was waiting for us on her magnificent ship, just like she had so many years ago. She set sail for the Winterlands the moment we stepped on board, though none of us had directed her. I forgot how surprising this magical world could be.

I kept my eyes closed for most of the journey; I couldn't bare to see the desolate landscape of the Winterlands. I didn't want to be reminded of the last time I had stepped ashore, in that disastrous battle. I knew that if I opened my eyes, I would see my last moments of Kartik alive, locked in battle with his murderous brother. As a result, I heard the whispers before I saw him.

They still said my name, over and over, but the voice was different somehow, harsher. I opened my eyes to see the tree, its beauty still as breathtaking as before. I could feel the wind blowing its branches, still as gentle as his caresses had been. I reached out to touch the bark, but stopped myself. Instead I sat beneath him and spoke.

"I missed you so much, Kartik. I miss you everyday," I said breaking into tears. I didn't know if Felicity and Ann were behind me, although I assumed they were. I didn't care if they saw me coming apart like this, but I knew I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted.

"I still love you so much. I know you wanted me to move on, that you gave your life so I could live mine. But I can't Kartik. I can't live without you anymore. I need you, your children need you."

**The more people review the faster I will put up the next chapter…. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for taking so long to update, hope this is long enough. Thanks for all the reviews, keep sending more my way. And Kartik will defiantly be in the next chapter.**

I looked up at the tree, trying to commit every detail to memory. It was odd to see the one thing that had consumed my dreams for almost five years in real life. It was like a mirage, and I found myself not wanting to blink for fear that if I did, it would disappear. The tree still looked the same, though I could detect some differences. The flowers that surrounded the tree seemed a little less bright, and the blue of the sky seemed menacing and fake. It was not at all the place I had left it.

"Gemma," Felicity called, breaking my thoughts, "I'm sorry, but I was wondering if your ready to try." I looked up into Felicity eyes and saw the worry there was for me. I wondered if she too could see the differences in the Winterlands, or if that too was a mirage in my mind.

I nodded and stood back a few steps from the tree, looking to my friends to support. My plan was simple, I was going to touch the tree and summon my magic. Ms. Moore had once told me that love was the strongest magic there was, and my love for Kartik had to be the strongest.

As I stepped forward, I could feel my hand shaking. I had never been this nervous in my life, not when I was fighting against the forces of darkness or making my debut. Demons and the Queen seemed tame compared to this.

As I stretched out my hand, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. What if this didn't work? Could I really live the rest of my life without Kartik? And if it did work, what kind of person would Kartik be after living four years in a place that used to be the source of all evil? Even Eugenia Spence couldn't stop being taking over by the dark, and she was one of the most powerful defenders of the realms.

The bark was smooth and cool to the touch and when I close my eyes, I could feel the pull of my magic. I put all of my strength into trying to get Kartik out, but when I opened my eyes, there was nothing. Nothing had changed and my plan had failed. Kartik was still trapped in the tree.

I sank to my knees, wondering how I was supposed to live without him, how was I going to raise my two kids alone. I thought of Kiran and Kali, both so much like their father. I was I going to watch Kiran grow and look more and more like Kartik everyday. And Kali, I was going to have to watch her find the love of her life and not have a father to give her away at her wedding. All of these thoughts were unbearable.

"Oh, Gemma, I am so sorry." I could tell by the cracks in Ann's voice that she was crying. When I turned to them I saw tears running down both their cheeks, even composed Felicity was crying.

"I just don't know how I am going to survive without him," I couldn't see clearly and the tears running down seemed as though they would never stop. "Even after all this time, I thought….that maybe….there would be a way…" I couldn't talk, my voice broke so badly. I felt my heart coming apart at the seams. The recently healed scars broke open, and my heartbreak consumed me. After all these years, I had never given up on Kartik, I had never stopped believe that one day he and I would be reunited.

My friends let my lay there beside the tree for what felt like hours. I knew that this would be the closest I would be able to get to him, that this would be our only reunion. I was about to tell them to leave me with him, and let the misery have me, when Felicity stepped forward with a gasp. I looked into her eyes and saw an idea forming.

"Gemma, do you remember the night you arrived at my house. You were hysterical for a minute, but you made a good point," Felicity said determinedly. She had a plan forming, I could tell, but I was too sad to care. All I wanted was Kartik.

"I don't know what you're talking about Felicity. I honestly can't remember."

"You were saying that it seemed as though a little part of Kartik was in each one of you. One in you, Kiran, and Kali. Well, if that's true, then you would need them as well to get him out." I sighed and shook my head. I didn't want any more plans. I simply wanted to leave and never come back.

"I think Felicity's got something. It's worth a try at least," Ann cried. I shook my head again, unwilling to even look away from the tree. I didn't want plans, or my children, all I wanted was to sit here underneath the tree. It was the closest I was ever going to get to Kartik.

"Just leave me alone."

"Okay, we will," Felicity said, pulling me to my feet. "After you bring Kiran and Kali here. They deserve to see this place too." I shook my head and protested, but I could see that she wasn't going to give up.

"Alright if I bring them here, then will you leave me here alone?" Felicity nodded.

"For as long as you want," She promised. I nodded my consent and slowly got to my feet. I took one last longing look at the tree, afraid that these might be some of the last minutes I would have alone with him. But all too soon, Ann was pulling me back to the garden and linking our hands together.

Back in the real world, I felt even more desolate. I didn't even feel Kartik's presence in this world. I saw Felicity disappear through the backdoor, to where my children where playing with Charlie. I knew I had only a few moments to pull my composure together so my children would not see my pain.

But putting the calm mask was harder to force than I had thought. All I wanted was to break down and cry. I could hear Kiran and Kali coming closer, their voices getting louder and louder with excitement. I idly wondered what story Felicity had told them, what she had said the garden was.

Maybe she had told them that it was a heaven of shorts, it would surly look like that to any other. I could still remember the look on Kartik's face as he saw the realms for the first time, a mixture of awe and shock. I remembered what else we had done in the realms, and the twins that had resulted.

"Gemma, it is time." Felicity took control now, no questions asked or feelings checked. I tried to smile convincingly at my children, before I held their hands and once again saw the door of pure light.


End file.
